arup’s blog

The month of November was characterised by illness. In the second week a stomach upset that was so severe that it required bed rest for a few days. Later in the month cystitis from the 22nd till the end of the month. Much pain, weakness, nausea and general suffering. Work ground to a halt and classes had to be cancelled. Just before this bout of illness began I had planned to go to Hastings for a photo shoot for a yoga book which of course had to be cancelled. I had planned to stay overnight in Brighton and catch up with friends which again had to be cancelled. One of them told me that things happen for a reason and this became a seed for reflection during my hours in my sick bed.

So what was this reason? The only thing that made any sense to me was that I have been wanting to quit yoga teaching. It didn’t make any sense on a rational level but if the power of thought can have any effect upon ones health this was a clear case of this happening. Probably since the time I started to build websites I thought about the prospect of quitting yoga teaching. But I have always held on to a handful of classes. I imagine because they are regular and give me a sense of financial security and also a sense of familiarity. Whilst I was at home in bed I got phone calls and emails regarding more work both from wheel and web clients. The past few months all I’ve been wanting is to stay at home, build wheels and websites and study. This gave me a little taster. Kind of spooky how it happened.

120 miles

Into the 2nd week and I managed to complete my quota this week with a total of 122 miles. This was without any supplementary mileage, only the normal commuting mileage. There was a trip to Walthamstow, to Racer Rosa to build wheels which had been missed the previous 2 weeks.

It’s very nice with the new bike, especially with the new hub on the rear wheel but I really do want to go beyond commuting. This year so far I’ve only been on one ride and that was just a trip to Richmond Park. So next year if I am to go on any longer rides I think I’m going to need to plan ahead a bit more.

Obviously in the final week there was no cycling at all.

Meditation

Three weeks into the month now and I just haven’t thought much about developing my meditation practice much further. Still doing the very short sit after the morning pages. It was starting to get longer but this month I’ve been busy, so as soon as the morning pages have finished I really have wanted to just get on with stuff. Still need to find a slot.

Yoga

Aside from my teaching I did very little if any yoga. The fact that I’ve cut back so much on the number of classes that I teach doesn’t seem to make much difference: I still want to be free from teaching yoga altogether. This of course worries me in that I might quit my own practice too. But perhaps I need to go through that phase for a short time in order to reclaim it.

Friends

I did manage to keep in touch with friends in spite of the fact that I’ve stopped chasing them. The real connections will eventually come back to you. Meetings and partings.

De-clutter

Since I moved into this flat more than a year ago I had a set of bathroom scales that I’ve been wanting to sell. I’ve just listed them on Ebay. That feels like such relief. I’ve tried giving them away but no-one really wanted them. They are too nice to donate to a charity shop.

Sometimes these small objectives just niggle away at you till they feel like big ones. Even though my level of Ebay selling is quite low I do feel that I’m on a roll now will be fully de-cluttering my items before too long. It really has been a dream of mine to trim down my possessions to bare necessities but the reality seems to be quite the opposite. At long last the tide is turning and it brings me a deep sense of satisfaction. It has been hard to stop the influx of stuff but the least I can do is to limit it and make a concerted effort to purge. Long may it last.

Java programming

In the first few days of November I got engrossed in version control systems. I had studied and researched the ideas a few years ago but hadn’t actually started using any form of version control but it became one of those things that ended up on my long term to do list. I was doing one of the exercises in Java 2 in 21 Days from 2000 and noticed that one of the examples didn’t work. It contained deprecated code so I changed it and it worked. I also changed some other bits such as adding an icon to a button. So the simple program had 3-4 versions and I just liked the idea of being able to go roll it back to the previous one. That caused me to pause in my Java study and begin investigating version control.

It became one of those frenzied days when you hop from one resource to the next continually asking questions and trying your best to keep some notes as you go. I read up on various pros and cons of subversion vs git especially as I had signed up to GitHub the week before. I got TortoiseSVN and looked through their guide and also watched a few video tutorials on YouTube. But the end of the evening I was all set up. Found a free SVN host and got a couple of projects under version control with a view to adding more. This post itself (and future ones) is under revision control.

I was impressed with the energy and enthusiasm I had and the way I seemed to shrug distractions and stay hungry for the prize. I suppose this is what I’ve been looking for in my studies; this particular state of mind. But I came across it by accident. I did experience it during my course at City University last year but my schedule was so tight there wasn’t room to just give into it. Now I do have the time but I just haven’t had this experience much. It was such a joy to be in that zone for more or less the whole day.

During the time I was in my sick bed I spent time with my iPad watching database design tutorials on YouTube and followed a course run by Stanford University. There was a natural urge to pursue this so I simply allowed it. Great fun.

Strength training

After a week of November I still haven’t done any strength training and have noticed big improvements in the flexibility of my shoulders and arms. Which of course is making me wonder about the benefits of regular strength training. The pain in the right shoulder is still there though.

Reading a book a month

Just finished a short story by Lee Child called Second Son which is an episode from the teenage years of Jack Reacher. It was my first Kindle store purchase for all of 99p as all of the previous ones were free Kindle books. Going to let some friends borrow it next week so wanted to test out actual monetary purchases.

Proper holidays

There was a plan to have a short break which was curtailed by illness. The illness itself was a holiday of sorts and an interesting time to think and reflect upon my life. I’m actually not too far from where I want to be and how I want to live and it wouldn’t take a great deal to move from where I am to where I would like to be.

October has brought beautiful autumn weather with clear skies and the sun hanging lower in the skies. The temperatures have been fairly mild too. It has been the most pleasant autumn I can remember and has made the transition out of summer all the smoother. But why the weather report? Because it’s uncanny how the weather can affect the mood in such a big way. As far as I can see things have been going rather well.

October being my birthday month can sometimes seem like a start / end point. That’s how it has been in some past years where I’ve started to get into a mood similar to New Year’s Eve. But it wasn’t like that this year. Just the same old anxiety about my future. What do I want to do, how do I want to live and how much I should worry about it. But the level of anxiety has certainly gone down a whole lot.

The final two weeks of the month did have a bit of a birthday cum holiday flavour as I did my socialising then and also purchased my iPad. That coupled with time away and time being sick made for a fairly leisurely time when most things were put to one side.

120 miles

In the first couple of weeks of October I have indeed reached the weekly quota without even adding extra mileage to the regular commutes.

Meditation

My previous plan was to have a couple of extended sessions on Monday and Wednesday mornings. The reminders keep sounding at the designated time but now I have other plans namely studying Java. So when am I going to meditate? Who knows. I will continue to keep up with the short sessions after my Morning Pages but that’s all for the time being. I can’t think of a better option at the moment.

Yoga

I seem to rarely do any practice on the days that I don’t teach. Every now and again the urge does arise but I seem to be so engrossed in other things that yoga is last on the list. Seems so far away from when I started doing yoga and vociforously leafed through my well thumbed copy of Light on Yoga to glean a little extra something that I might perhaps have missed. Sometimes when I’m teaching I do get focused and enthusiastic and wondered how that environment was different to being at home. It’s a very spacious room which is warm but the main thing is that I’m there for no other purpose than to do yoga.

Friends

Last month I mentioned the idea of letting some friends make the next move in terms of meeting up as I was a bit cheesed off with making the effort most of the time. I’ve stayed with this idea but have been in contact with many friends especially in the final two weeks of this month. Dinners, coffees and generally hanging out. It felt as though it was coming naturally rather than doing it as a goal. I’d still like to make it more systematic somehow so that I can keep track of who I’ve seen and how often but isn’t friendship supposed to be more organic?

De-clutter

This month is my birthday and I really want an ipad. I don’t need one and I can’t really afford one with my current financial status but I simply just have to have one. It’s like an inner parent and child battling it out. Both parent and child want it and would use it but I just can’t justify the purchase. The cheapest model in only £400.00 but as I’ve explained above that is more than my disposable income at the moment. So my plan is to make myself earn it. How am I going to do that? I’m going to put up all those things for auction that have been bugging me for months.

Selling old stuff on eBay will help me to raise funds which will offset some of the cost but the main thing will be to get myself to do something that I’ve been shirking for a long time. It will make me feel good about my purchase rather than being a simple consumer and getting a toy. From a child’s point of view it would be getting a reward for tidying up their bedroom. Will this be enough of an incentive to actually get shot of all that gear?

Been selling some bike parts already and have sold parts from my old bike. But now I’m in the swing of it and need to just keep it going. I listed five auctions so all I need to do is always have a few on the go and simply add to them. Once it goes down to zero and there is a gap then that gap will just get longer and longer until I’m back in the same situation as now.

Having sold five items on eBay I bought myself an iPad. I’m totally in love with the thing and have been staying up late playing with it. Well, at least it finally got me to list a few things on the bay.

Java programming

Having set up my development computer as a means of motivating myself to start study again the first thing I found difficult was deciding what to study. Which course to follow or series of YouTube tutorials. I toyed with Android development, java Swing tutorials and even a spot of javascript as an aside. Finally, I seem to have settled on the Java tutorials on Oracle’s own site. I’ve also been creating mp3 recordings of some lessons to help revision and to reinforce my learning. Whatever keeps me motivated really. The trick is to seize the opportunity when I’m in the mood and also the opposite: refrain from trying to force myself when I’m clearly not in the mood.

Strength training

Having taken a break and being worried about injury I’ve started again but with a lighter routine. Instead of going for a rep goal for each exercise and using as many sets as required I’m now just doing two sets of each exercise. My cold and sore throat has gone so this has been a good way to motivate myself again.

The pain in my right shoulder is not getting any better so I have decided to stop the strength training altogether until it is completely healed. I am also finding some yoga postures very difficult, namely Gomukasana and Garudasana. Not just difficult but painful. This isn’t the sort of physical state to be demonstrated by a yoga teacher. So no more strength training for a while at least not for the shoulders and upper body.

Reading a book a month

Seems that so far in October I’ve neglected to do any reading as I’ve been busy with study and work. This is no bad thing but I am missing it as I was on a bit of a roll.

During the final week of October and the purchase of the iPad I have been installing various reading apps. The Kindle app of course, iBooks, Adobe Reader and QuickReader. The Kindle app syncs with all your devices so you can be reading the same book on the Kindle, the iPad and on the Android phone and keep your place. That is exactly what I’ve been doing with the latest book that I’ve been reading. I was reading it in the queue at the post office then got home and continued to read it on the Kindle. Later on I read on the iPad.

QuickReader for the iPad is also an e-reading app but its main feature is to build up your reading speed. I’ve been interested in speed reading for a long time since I first came across the idea in Tony Buzan’s book Use Your Head and also got his book on Speed Reading. Now that so much reading is done on a screen I had a look around for speed reading tools. QuickReader simply highlights a short group of words and then guides your eye by moving from one group to the next. You can set the speed, the highlighted phrase length and various other parameters. The idea is that it trains the eye to keep moving and focus on a wider area. A friend of mine told me that a friend of hers reads 2-3 books a week! That’s a great deal more than my one book a month goal. Perhaps I can move to two books a month next year.

I did actually plan to have a reading day on the 31st of October as a sort of post birthday treat and as it just worked out to be a day when I was going to be free. But instead I got ill. I tried to read but I grew more and more restless because I couldn’t focus then realised that I was ill. Some sort of stomach bug which came to fruition on Monday evening.

Raw food and meal planning

Having tried the Atkins Diet for a week in September and found that it only made me weak which was unacceptable as I am used to having a lot of energy this month I stuck to my usual diet consisting mainly of toast but at least my energy has been up. I would still like to pursue this goal but I think I need to come at it from a point of view of assessing my current dietary habits: just a basic list of what I eat and when. Then I can work at tweaking them. Perhaps just keeping a record of a typical fortnight. But you know how it is when you’re being watched.

Proper holidays

I did have a proper holiday at the very end of the month – a weekend in Wales. Well, much of the time was spent on the train but it was quality time with Maya which was invaluable. Haven’t seen my folks in a very long time. It was also my birthday and as I’m getting older I still want to celebrate but in a low key way. I did want a little more indulgence but that had to be it.

I also had a daytrip to Brighton to spend some time with a very good friend who is going away very soon. I may not see her again for a long time so I took the opportunity while it was there.

Writing the August report over the course of the month made it seem as though I had collated many small reports rather than one big one at the end of the month. Which is essentially what it was but reading back the different paragraphs I could feel the different moods in each one. Sometimes when I look back over a month it can seem like a long time and I can’t remember. It’s only the 3rd of September but I’m going to start this report right now so again I can keep track over the course of the month and just leave the file open to update and edit.

In September I was quite inspired about my goals and about getting on with them but I also got a cold which sapped my energy. It meant that after a good start progress did slow down but the enthusiasm to achieve the goals remained constant so things picked up again at the end of the month.

120 miles

Last week I set my speedometer to zero for the trip distance so that I could actually measure how far I travel in a week. It was just over 92 miles. Well below the 120 mile quota. Given that when I have a day at home I’m reluctant to go out and ride I thought about adding some extra mileage to my commutes. But how far? Those 92 miles were covered over four days so on average I was commuting 22.5 miles per day. So all I would need to do would be to increase each day to 30 miles and that would take me up to 120 miles in total. Which means adding an average of 7.5 miles to each commute. It would have to be on the way home.

On the evening of the 12th I continued from Forest Hill to Lewisham and back via Catford which was 5.74 miles. From Forest Hill where my detour began to my house is about a mile so in total I cycled an extra five miles give or take. It was a beautiful night and there wasn’t much traffic as it was after ten o’clock. I really enjoyed and am now wondering about some other routes. Obviously I don’t want to do this at rush hour as it would be no fun at all but there are parks so I need to check those out.

I have completed the first thousand miles on my new Lombardi bike and took myself off to Wagamama for a meal which I haven’t done for a while. It does feel good to have this tradition back up and running again.

Meditation

Now that I’m studying in the mornings my two proposed slots for doing some extra meditation have been taken up. The only option that comes to mind is to extend my morning ones when I sit after the morning pages. Perhaps from 5 minutes to 10 minutes. It seems that meditation is getting sidelined again.

Yoga

Around the time when I first started doing yoga I was also a coffee drinker. After my morning cup I found I could push myself quite hard and go deep into the stretches. Not quite the right attitude for yoga but I had come from a weight training background where it was all about gains and pushing yourself hard. I tried the same idea and found that I was instantly motivated but without the aggressive attitude that I had 20 years ago.

Having shut down a bit having had a cold the past week I had an idea while I was teaching my Sunday morning class on the 18th. If I want to quit yoga in both senses i.e. teaching and practising then I should only work on the ones that I teach when I do it on my own. In the past I’ve often thought that I should only do postures that I don’t teach but if I’m not actually too interested in it and am doing it merely as a job then I simply need to look the part for certain postures. The fact that this idea has occurred to me now means that I truly am disengaging from it.

Friends

Having been annoyed about having to chase up many of my friends I pondered last month about the idea of letting them make the next move. I spoke to a friend who suggested I should try it. It would certainly be a load off my mind and as she said perhaps one needs to let go of old friends in order to make new friends.

De-clutter

I’ve made a list of things that I need to sell on ebay. It’s a start but I don’t know if it’s going to happen. I do some money tied up in these small items which stops me from just throwing them out but the amount of stuff that is building up is really worrying me. And yet, I want more stuff!

Java programming

The urge is starting to return but very slowly. I have given myself an out clause but don’t seem to be taking it. I’ve bought an old Intel P4 PC on Ebay which I’m going to use as a dedicated development machine. The Android emulator only works with Intel processors so it was a good excuse to purchase yet another computer. I don’t mind as long as I do actually do something with it. Linux Mint 10 or 11 with the latest version of Java I think with Eclipse and any other tools that may be required.

Maya has just started nursery and I am picking her up at midday each day apart from Thursday when I go up to Racer Rosa to build wheels. So for four weekday mornings I have a few clear hours to get on with some study. After some teething troubles about what to study I seem to be sticking to the routine and enjoying it too.

Strength training

Now that I have my new plan of working my upper body I can already see the gains in size and strength but along with that have come other side effects. My shoulders, chest, upper back and arms are feeling very tight. My right shoulder also feels stiff to the point of being painful. I’ve experienced this before when I had a regular strength training routine and wonder if I’m over doing it. I would prefer to have less strength and more suppleness really. So I’ve left it a whole week without any training and starting to feel looser and the pain has subsided somewhat. But it could be the cycling as well. It would be a shame to have to quit when I’m making some decent progress but if this is the cause of my pain then so be it.

During the mid part of the month I got a cold and as I haven’t had one for a while it does feel quite debilitating so I have decided to take the week off from strength training. I’ve been feeling pretty lousy and don’t want to risk any kind of injury or simply make myself overly tired. I know there is a greater risk of losing my strength or losing the momentum but I think that I have built up enough continuity to keep going with this.

Reading a book a month

I’ve just finished Anna Karenina after reading it for a few months. That’s certainly less than a book a month. But I did find it hard going at times. More than being long the author was introducing new characters and using them to write about material that was really not very relevant to the story. This was what you might call a high-brow book so I guess it is expected to find it a little difficult in places. So my plan is to alternate between high brow and low brow books. So I’ve started on another Jack Reacher novel by Lee Child. Should take a week I imagine.

Raw food and meal planning

Saw a programme on Channel four from 2003 about the Atkins diet and have been quite inspired to try something different. I have tried the initial two week phase of the diet before so would be willing to give it a shot just to see if it would work. I love all that high fat stuff but no bread is going to be difficult. I think I’ll read up on the various phases and then maybe try it round christmas. I could eat all the cheese and meat I wanted but without the roast potatoes and the crackers. Tricky.

Strike while the iron’s hot and all that so I’ve decided to give it a go especially after one of my yoga students commented on the amount of extra fat I was carrying.

I followed the Atkins diet for a week doing the induction part of it. I was so weak and tired during that time and I decided against continuing for a 2nd week. I was sleeping a lot more, felt dizzy and was very low on motivation. I’m used to having a lot of energy and just expect to be able to keep going so this put me right out of character. I went back to bread and felt much better. Let’s save the diet for another time.

Proper holidays

No holidays in September.